Good Job ISFLC!

The ISFLC Was The Best Event Ever!

The ISFLC Was The Best Event Ever!

Students for Liberty is my single favorite libertarian organization, because they keep the fight for social justice right in everyone’s face. Other libertarians are racist because they want to talk about taxes and economics, but SFL knows that the real important stuff is about race and sex. If you’re not talking about race and sex all the time, you’re a total racist, sexist, homophobe, end of list.

For too long, the libertarian movement has been dominated by white male capitalist ideologues. Thanks to my friends at Students for Liberty and the Center for a Stateless Society, that’s all about to change. We’re not just going to kill Rothbard, we’re going to kill whitey.

What the libertarian movement needs is transgendered black communists with flexible belief systems.

Firstly, die cis scum. For too long, your traditional State imposed gender controls have oppressed people like me who are doing our best to look like women despite having a penis between our legs. Just because I have male genitalia does not make me a male. I can be any gender I want, and your stupid scientific facts have nothing to do with gender. Gender is all about my need to feel important and victimized, not genitalia, hormones, DNA, or physics.

Secondly, kill whitey. I keep hearing these “race realists” talking about “white genocide”. Normally, we try to keep these things hush hush, but let me just be straight with you. White people are oppressors because of their skin color, and before we can free ourselves of capitalist greed, we have to eradicate them from the planet. That’s why we only support forced integration policies and discrimination laws in white countries. Yes, we are exterminating you, and that’s a good thing. Kicking you out of the liberty movement is the least of your problems white people, so stop complaining.

Thirdly, smash capitalism, it is the only way to end race and gender oppression. Greed makes people want stuff. Stuff is used to oppress people. What part of this don’t you people understand? Inflationary monetary policy encourages saving by lowering interest rates, which leads to the accumulation of capital. Once someone has capital, they can pay people to do things they don’t really feel like doing, and that’s wage slavery. Thus, capitalism is racist because slavery.

Lastly, we really need to have more flexible belief systems. There is no truth. Words have no meaning. All these rigid “principled” stances libertarians keep making are hurting the movement. The only way we’re going to be able to take over the world is if we get everybody on our side, and the only way to get everybody on our side is to redefine our words to make them fit everyone’s belief systems. This is politics 101, I should not have to explain this to a presidential candidate.

That’s why I’m so proud of Aarón Shelby Baca, Mackenzie Holst, and Cory Massimino for authoring the Open Letter to Ron Paul and disrupting his address at the International Students for Liberty Conference in Washington DC by reading it out loud. Ron Paul is a racist, everybody knows that because we saw it on Rachel Maddow like a hundred times. I haven’t read those newsletters, and I don’t know if he was actually the one who wrote them, but it doesn’t matter. Once MSNBC says you’re a racist, you’re a racist. It doesn’t matter if you spent the last 40 years dedicated to the cause of human freedom, you had your name on a paper that said things I would probably disagree with if I read it, so you don’t deserve any respect at all.

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  • Jalen C Stegman

    Put gun in mouth and pull trigger, Buehler….

    • Jalen C Stegman

      I can dream can’t i?

    • http://klout.com/#/ilovegrover Thane_Eichenauer

      I oppose 42nd trimester abortions.

  • virgil

    Buehler, you are fucked in the head.

  • Rothbardian Slip

    Word!

  • tokyokv

    The commenters have no idea that this is satirical. You have to spell it out for them, or you will get a reputation as a far-left SJW forever.