Yesterday as I was on Facebook looking for dirty words to report, I saw many people shocked and amazed to find out there was a tampon invented for transgendered women. The FEM-FLO as it has been branded, is produced by the Sappho-Luxe company out of southern California. They have been making environmentally friendly feminine hygiene products for several years now, and have always been friendly to social justice warriors the world over, but this is their first product specifically catering to the transgendered market.
In case you’re unfamiliar, and thereby a transphobic bigot, trans women do not have a uterus. White cis gendered heterosexual capitalist males have been preventing that technology from being made available to trans people for centuries because they are racist. When changing anatomical sex from male to female, the testicles are removed, and the skin of foreskin and penis is usually inverted, as a flap preserving blood and nerve supplies (a technique pioneered by Sir Harold Gillies in 1951), to form a fully sensitive vagina (vaginoplasty). A clitoris fully supplied with nerve endings (innervated) can be formed from part of the glans of the penis. If the patient has been circumcised (removal of the foreskin), or if the surgeon’s technique uses more skin in the formation of the labia minora, the pubic hair follicles are removed from some of the scrotal tissue, which is then incorporated by the surgeon within the vagina. Other scrotal tissue forms the labia majora. Until the white cis gendered hetero males have been overthrown, this is as close as we’ll get to true anatomical equality.
While we wait, Sappho-Luxe came up with a product that simulates menstruation. When one inserts the FEM-FLO into their new vagina, a capsule containing artificial menstrual blood begins to warm with the body’s temperature. When it reaches body temperature, the capsule melts and the “menses” is released into the cotton core of the device. The woman then removes the tampon, and puts another one in there as often as she likes until her emotional state returns to that of a non menstruating woman.
Now, for sure there is the problem of capitalist greed here. Fem-Flo tampons will come in boxes of 25 and cost around $19.99 per box. Exploiting the transgendered for profit is high treason to the cause, and should be answered for. If you ask me, the tampons should be provided to trans people free of charge, and the costs ought to be covered by the cis gendered women who buy their regular products, the white ones especially. However, while capitalism exists, this product is indeed a fine one.
I reached out to Sappho-Luxe to see if I could get a box of FEM-FLO tampons to try, as they are not going to be on store shelves until next month. They did indeed send me one, and I rushed straight to the nearest gender neutral restroom I could find to try them out. Being pre-op, and thus lacking an inverted penis vagina myself (please donate!), I put one up my anus instead.
It was nothing short of luxurious. Within 15 minutes it was like my asshole was really bleeding! I got so emotional, I had to take a Midol! I called up all my trans friends to tell them about it, and for some reason they seemed confused.
“Why would you go through all that trouble and expense just to create an inconvenience? Not having periods is the best part of being a trans woman!” one of them said to me. “Equality” I told her, “Sweet, righteous, hard-won equality.”