Menstrual Equality At Last

Yesterday as I was on Facebook looking for dirty words to report, I saw many people shocked and amazed to find out there was a tampon invented for transgendered women. The FEM-FLO as it has been branded, is produced by the Sappho-Luxe company out of southern California. They have been making environmentally friendly feminine hygiene products for several years now, and have always been friendly to social justice warriors the world over, but this is their first product specifically catering to the transgendered market.

In case you’re unfamiliar, and thereby a transphobic bigot, trans women do not have a uterus. White cis gendered heterosexual capitalist males have been preventing that technology from being made available to trans people for centuries because they are racist. When changing anatomical sex from male to female, the testicles are removed, and the skin of foreskin and penis is usually inverted, as a flap preserving blood and nerve supplies (a technique pioneered by Sir Harold Gillies in 1951), to form a fully sensitive vagina (vaginoplasty). A clitoris fully supplied with nerve endings (innervated) can be formed from part of the glans of the penis. If the patient has been circumcised (removal of the foreskin), or if the surgeon’s technique uses more skin in the formation of the labia minora, the pubic hair follicles are removed from some of the scrotal tissue, which is then incorporated by the surgeon within the vagina. Other scrotal tissue forms the labia majora. Until the white cis gendered hetero males have been overthrown, this is as close as we’ll get to true anatomical equality.

FEM-FLO from Sappho-Luxe, the first trans tampon!

FEM-FLO from Sappho-Luxe, the first trans tampon!

While we wait, Sappho-Luxe came up with a product that simulates menstruation. When one inserts the FEM-FLO into their new vagina, a capsule containing artificial menstrual blood begins to warm with the body’s temperature. When it reaches body temperature, the capsule melts and the “menses” is released into the cotton core of the device. The woman then removes the tampon, and puts another one in there as often as she likes until her emotional state returns to that of a non menstruating woman.

Now, for sure there is the problem of capitalist greed here. Fem-Flo tampons will come in boxes of 25 and cost around $19.99 per box. Exploiting the transgendered for profit is high treason to the cause, and should be answered for. If you ask me, the tampons should be provided to trans people free of charge, and the costs ought to be covered by the cis gendered women who buy their regular products, the white ones especially. However, while capitalism exists, this product is indeed a fine one.

I reached out to Sappho-Luxe to see if I could get a box of FEM-FLO tampons to try, as they are not going to be on store shelves until next month. They did indeed send me one, and I rushed straight to the nearest gender neutral restroom I could find to try them out. Being pre-op, and thus lacking an inverted penis vagina myself (please donate!), I put one up my anus instead.

It was nothing short of luxurious. Within 15 minutes it was like my asshole was really bleeding! I got so emotional, I had to take a Midol! I called up all my trans friends to tell them about it, and for some reason they seemed confused.

“Why would you go through all that trouble and expense just to create an inconvenience? Not having periods is the best part of being a trans woman!” one of them said to me. “Equality” I told her, “Sweet, righteous, hard-won equality.”

  • Hardcore Zen

    Brilliant!

    • cocoabuttakissess

      Transwomen will NEVER be real women, they are mentally sick people who need help and society needs to stop promoting this nastiness.

      • Alice D. Singe

        Hey if you wanna single-handedly stop the acception of Trans* or LGBTQ+ people, be my guest to go out and create a hate group to be on the wrong side of history. Because in 30 years, kids will see their schoolbooks and cringe at how Trans*-phobic you were. Whether you feel comfortable or not with us, we’re still here. I remember reading somewhere how women who didn’t want to get married used to be considered mentally sick. Also, there is a physical difference in a Trans* persons brain and body from a Cis* person. Personally I think hatred is more of a danger to yourself and others (as it has been proven and history does repeat).

        • cocoabuttakissess

          You and your people are mentally sick, you people need to stop scrutinizing people because some people don’t think you guys are real women or whatever gender you think you are. Everyone tries to be politically correct that no one can’t voice their opinion without being a bigot. However, you guys will never be the gender you pretend to because you are genetically engineered! Female women aren’t born with male parts or vice versa, so stop with that b.s, what female needs Fem Flo? None because God gave us periods naturally we don’t need to put man made pills in our body to keep us female like you weirdos. So have several seats 👋🏾

      • Hardcore Zen

        Absolutely! No one even bothers to consider how this effects real women. It’s repugnant.

  • Rothbardian Slip

    What a lovely story. I need to follow this blog more closely.

    • cocoabuttakissess

      YUCK, disgusting human being.